Why is it that “strong woman” is synonymous with “bitch”?

It’s something I’ve been thinking about lately while I’m writing. And though fiction has prompted the question, it’s based entirely in reality. I’m also going to preface this by saying that this post is in no way against men, because I’m surrounded by the loveliest men anyone could ever ask for. It’s just an observation made by me, a woman. Because no matter what plumbing you garner, there are issues specific to each gender. This one just happens to require a vagina…

Here’s the experiment. Tell a strong woman you know that you admire her for being a “strong woman”. Nine times out of ten her response will not be the gracious “thank you” it should be because it was a heartfelt, deserved compliment; no instead she’ll say, “Oh, so you think I’m a bitch?” I’m serious, try it. I’m speaking from experience; I’ve heard the response many times over the years from different women. My compliment always requires follow-up affirmation and explanation of my sincere intent.

Which is sad. Look around. There are so many young women, and older women for that matter, that lack the confidence, support, resources, motivation, etc. to excel in life. To be strong. Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I GET THAT. I’m 41 years old. My life has not been all sunshine and rainbows. Life is hard. Being strong is even harder. I don’t always succeed at life, at trying to be strong; but I try like hell.

Looking back at my life now, with the perspective the present provides, I have never been more thankful for the strong women that influenced, and continue to influence, me. When I was young I grew up with the most badass mom anyone could ever ask for. She was not only loving, self-sacrificing, and supportive at home. But she was a fierce, outspoken, career-oriented woman who didn’t back down from anyone. She taught me, and told me, that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I always believed her, because she led by example. Her challenges are different now, but she’s still the toughest person I know. Over the years I’ve met many women who left their mark on me. Many didn’t even know it. I’ve learned that it’s so important to surround myself with people (both men and women) that inspire and challenge me. My closest female friends all have something in common. They all have huge hearts. These are seriously some of the nicest people on the entire planet. They are always there for me when I need them. They are all driven-when they set their minds to do something you’d better just get out of their way. Their determination is intense. They know exactly who they are and they don’t apologize for it. And they don’t take shit from anyone.

So, to Mom, Deb, Robin, Barb, Andi, and all of the other women in my life who are fighting the good fight that is life (and kicking its ass), thank you for being so strong. Because you make me strong. I love you for it. (Don’t you dare ask me if I think you’re a bitch.) 😉